The Bieb

T.E. asks, "What do you make of the persistent tabloid rumors that " Miss Kitty " is actually the literary pseudonym of Justin Bieber?"

I can see a couple of gaping holes in your logic there, T.E. You might want to get an extra coat to cover those up or something.

First of all, I don't normally pay attention to tabloid rumors because they are (say it with me now) tabloid rumors. "Tabloid," coming from the Greek tablous, which means "three and a half pounds of beetle dung," and "rumor" from the Greek roomus, which means, "place where we can chat and have a cup of tea." So you're talking about three and a half pounds of beetle dung in the room where we are supposed to chat and have a cup of tea. I don't know about you, but I'm not too thrilled about having tea in there. I think we should find somewhere else to go, like, say, a reputable news source location? The AP perhaps? BBC News? I do like the BBC.

Secondly, and how do I put this gently?, Justin Bieber is not the sharpest tool in the shed. Granted, the kid is only sixteen or seventeen, so we can't expect him to be too worldly. Except, wait a minute, he's traveled all around the world playing his "music." And supposedly, his grandfather is German and he can count to ten in German so that means he's not a moron. I can count to ten and say a few nasty words in German, though, so I don't know that counting to ten automatically discounts moron status.

And while I am not really one to toot my own horn, I will say that my posts do tend to be rather well put together. They use proper grammar and spelling. So while I guess it could be possible that the same person who Tweeted "#NEVERSAYNEVER3D really shows u what it's like. u see how hard things can get and that life isnt perfect but then u see the great moments 2," could be the writer of this blog, I'm going to put that into the category of Not Bloody Likely.

Finally, I don't think the Bieb knows what a pseudonym is. He would just call me a poser. Or a hater. Don't be hatin' on the Bieb!

Thank you, T.E. for your question! Keep 'em coming, guys! askmisskittyanything@gmail.com