Impulse Buys

M.C. asks, "Dear Miss Kitty,

As usual we are being bombarded with commercials and adds for those perfect Christmas Gift ideas. But I am wondering about the ones where people get a Lexus for Christmas. Maybe its just me but.........when did a new luxury automobile become an impulse buy?"

Hey, M.C. In case you hadn't noticed, EVERYTHING is an impulse buy at Christmas time. I'm just kind of surprised it took the car manufacturers this long to catch on and try to take advantage of it.

There are a lot of things at work here. One is guilt. This is a great time of year to remember that Jesus was a hoopy frood. I know, I know, there are plenty of people out there (and probably quite a few reading this) who don't necessarily dig on the whole Jesus vibe. That's fine. I'm not particularly religious myself. But if you at least pretend for a minute that he was a real guy who lived a long time ago, he seemed like a pretty cool dude. Telling people to love one another and all that stuff. Turning water into wine - tell me you don't wish you had that skill. Feeding the poor. And the people who decided his birthday should be celebrated alongside the way more popular at the time solstice celebrations, thought it might be a good idea to play up the fact that he was a hoopy frood to try to get more people to join the party. So since about 440AD, people have been running around at this time of year telling everyone what a great guy he was and I'm guessing that there has been a little bit of the telephone game in there so now, instead of being groovy guy, he's the guy who can make Chuck Norris cry for his mommy. And since we're supposed to be celebrating things in his image, and there is no possible way you could make Chuck Norris cry for his mommy, you have to show you are just as good as Jesus by...buying a car for your loved ones. Because those coupon books you used to give just don't cost enough to prove you're worth getting in on the Jesus celebrations. He gave his friggin' life for you man; the least you could do is go into debt in his name.

I would like to point out here that boat, jet, and helicopter manufacturers were trying to get in on the fun for a little while there, until it was pointed out that not everyone has a pilot's license or access to a major body of water. So for the time being, anyway, a car is the most expensive thing that just about everyone (in the United States) might actually be able to use. The more you love, the more you'll spend, but not if the person can't use it. Usually.

And, of course, we have the rampant materialism of the general American population. You said it right when you mentioned the bombardment of adds this time of year (the extra "d" is for "double the ads," I presume). If you're not buying craploads of junk that people don't actually need at this time of year, well, that's downright un-American.

So we take materialism and guilt and put them together and voila! You have to buy your loved ones luxury cars for Christmas or you just plain don't love them. The car manufacturers are just disappointed that they haven't been able to successfully position the automobiles next to the candy bars in the supermarket check-out lines.

Thank you, M.C. for your question! Keep 'em coming, guys! askmisskittyanything@gmail.com