Comparative Beauty

E.C. asks, "Miss Kitty,

Which is more beautiful, a baby's smile, a perfectly prepared platter of buffalo tofu or a pet curled up on your lap?

In any of the above, how much is it's beauty reduced if experienced while watching a repeat of "Three and a half men"?"

Hi, E.C. Good to hear from you. Though I will say that I think your question requires a bit more clarification. I'm guessing you're asking which is more beautiful to me because beauty is subjective and the only opinions I can have are my own. Unless I steal someone else's, which happens from time to time, but in the stealing process, I usually add a bit of my own flare to make it mine. So I am going to answer your question from my own perspective. Because that is easiest and I'm lazy.

We can eliminate the platter of buffalo tofu right out. While the buffalo sauce may have a nice color to it, tofu is not pretty. It's just not. Tasty when smothered in buffalo sauce, but not pretty. Moving on.

The smile of a baby is gorgeous, as is having a pet curled up in your lap. If we are talking about my niece and my cat, that's a really tough call. If we're talking about this baby and my cat, my cat wins, hands down. Especially when he sort of rolls onto his side so I can scritch his tummy and he does that pawing at the air thing 'cuz he's happy and then he lets me hold his hand for a minute before he curls back up into a tiny ball with his paw over his eyes to block out any excess light that may be creeping in. Or when he is at the other end of the hallway and can hear me putting a blanket on my lap so he comes running, a flat out run to get into my lap and fall asleep, that just melts me. More than any random baby's smile ever could.

However, my niece is gorgeous. Seriously. I know everyone says their kid or their niece or their nephew is the cutest kid ever, but mine really is. I've been saying she is for the past year and a half she's been alive and then when I show people pictures of her, they go, "Wow! She really is cute," like I had been lying or making it up. She is what every parent hopes their child will be - adorable, smart, funny, sweet. Beautiful little kid. And when she smiles at you...let's just say she could make the Grinch's heart grow four sizes. Yes, she is cuter than Cindy Lou Who, who is pretty damn cute. Come on. If she crawled into your lap and asked for a Barbie Dream House, you'd go find one, body image issues be damned.

So it's a tough call. If my niece sat in my lap with my cat, who was curled up around my hand that was scritching his tummy, and my niece looked up at me and smiled, I think my head would explode from the beauty of it. So for the sake of my own health, here's hoping my niece never comes over to my house to meet my cat.

Side note: Really cute story. I met my cousin's new baby boy over the weekend. He's only five weeks old so he hasn't really learned to smile or make eye contact yet. But in that way that babies can psyche you out, there was a moment when he was lying on the floor and I was holding his hand that I swear he looked at me and the one corner of his mouth started to pull back like the beginnings of a smile. And I couldn't help it - I cried. Felt like a total moron, but this tiny, perfect, beautiful baby boy was trying to smile at me. How could I not?

Regarding the reduction in beauty given what I'm assuming is supposed to be an unpleasant outside circumstance (I've not heard of this "Three and a Half Men." I've seen a few episodes of "Two and a Half Men" - are they related? Did the change the name of the show since the kid grew up? Did the kid have his own kid and that's the new "half?"), I don't think outside circumstances have as much effect on the beauty of the situation as one might think. If one is as skilled at appreciating beauty as I am (and let's face it, I'm good), one can sort of tune out the background noise and just enjoy the warmth of the cat on my lap. And when we're playing with my niece, we're not watching TV. Or if the television is on, it's football. She loves football.

Thank you, E.C. for your question! Keep 'em coming, guys! askmisskittyanything.blogspot.com