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This site is intended for entertainment purposes only. If you ask for my advice and actually end up taking it, that's up to you. I am not a psychic, psychotherapist, counselor, or any of that stuff. I'm just someone with too much time on her hands so I thought I'd try to make people giggle.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Dancing Fool

M.O'D. asks, " When dancing I can usually do ok counting in my head as long as I'm focusing on my partner. However, the moment I try (or accidentally) look anywhere else (like at other dancers) my counting goes out the window and I end up trampling toes. Is this just a novice dancing dilema? Are there any quick fixes? Please help me MissKitty!

Hi, M. I hope you know that I say this next bit with all of the love in my heart because I really can empathize with you, but you're a white guy, aren't you? (I know you are 'cuz we've known each other for years, but I just needed to make that point for the sake of my readers. Excuse me, "reader.")

Dancing can be a tricky thing, especially for Caucasian men who, typically, have no rhythm. I presume this is why you are counting in your head, so you can keep the beat, yes? You are fortunate because rhythm is something that a person can learn, and once the rhythm is part of you, it won't matter where you look (though I will say, on behalf of dance partners everywhere, if you're so bored with the dance you're in that you can't stay focused on your partner, it's probably not a dance you should be involved in and chances are she's just as bored as you so it would probably be okay to just call it quits right there in the middle of the dance floor. Make a big show of it, though, so people know why you're leaving the floor and they will know to get out of your way. Shouting, "I just can't work with this!" usually helps).

Rhythm consists of two parts - the math-type part and the feeling-type part.

The math-type part is easy. Perhaps your counting is getting thrown off because you haven't really counted anything in a long time and you've forgotten how it goes. I would recommend dropping by any of the fine elementary education facilities in your city and joining a class. A lot of counting usually happens in first grade classrooms. If you wear a trench coat, dark glasses, and a hat, and sneak in to sit in the back, they won't even know you're there. You can join in the counting until you feel comfortable doing it on your own. If you find that you need some extra assistance, you might want to take one of the children aside during recess and ask for some one-on-one lessons.

The feeling-type part can be a little trickier. This is when you take all of the counting you've been practicing and try to incorporate it into your body so that the things you do on a daily basis have fluidity and consistency. Rhythm, if you will. And the unfortunate part is that this is just one of those things that you have to do as much as you can until the muscle memory kicks in. I would recommend purchasing a few songs that have a heavy, steady bass line, so it is hard to miss the rhythm, and just play them wherever you go. If you need to carry a boombox on your shoulder, by all means, carry a boombox on your shoulder. If you'd rather go with a personal mp3 player of your choice, that's okay, too, but I've found some people can get self-conscious practicing their rhythm techniques if they think other people can't hear the music. But in any case, as you are listening to the music, walk in time with it. One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four. Brush your teeth to it. Breathe to it. Everything you do, do it in time with the music. Don't worry if you mess up every now and again - these things happen. Just jump back in on the downbeat and you're good to go. After a while, these behaviors will become automatic and any time you hear music, you'll be able to find the rhythm and keep it without having to count it out in your head. Then you can be as disinterested in your dance partner as you like and she'll never know the difference.

Keep on dancing!

Thank you, M.O'D. for your question. Keep 'em coming, guys! askmisskittyanything@gmail.com

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