Soundtrack of My Life

A.A. asks, "Dear Miss Kitty,

I hope you are well and wearing an easy smile.

What songs would make up your Soundtrack of My Life (so far)?

Thank you as always."

Hi, A.A..

I want to apologize for the delay in answering your question. I knew this would be a sort of epic answer and wanted to give it the proper, full attention it deserves, so it took a little while. But here goes.

I think a lot of people know by now that music has played a very important role in my life, with different styles carrying more importance at different times than others. But let's start with the early stuff and move to the later, shall we?

One of my earliest music associations (beyond my mom bringing her guitar into my preschool classroom and playing for us) still has to do with my mom. I remember dancing to Sultans of Swing in the living room with my mom one New Year's Eve, I think it was. One of the first ones when I was allowed to stay up late enough to enjoy New Year's Eve. This was also my first exposure to East Coast Swing dancing, which translated into my love of lindy hop much later on. Which, of course, leads us to Love Me or Leave Me, which may be my favorite song to dance to ever. And the greatest piano solo ever. Though I once saw a claymation short done to My Baby Just Cares for Me that made me totally fall in love with dance and music and Aardman Animations and made me wish I had a baby who just cared for me.

There are a million other swing songs that should probably get a mention in here - Mr. Pinstripe Suit because I loved Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and saw them on my 21st birthday and they all took pictures with me and signed a dollar bill for me which was later stolen and Dirk was so lovely remembering that I made a total asshole out of myself the first time I saw them live, and because it was in anticipation of that concert that I taught the boy I was in love with at the time how to dance so I could make him go with me; Buzz Buzz Buzz by the Mighty Blue Kings because of all the arguments that boy and I had about who was the better neo swing band; Sing Sing Sing because my next dance partner would always try to time our entrance into the jam so that our sailor kicks hit the music at exactly the right point (which is why I don't do sailor kicks anymore); Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen because of the neo swing movement's obsession with Swing Kids until we all figured out the dancing in that movie is not what we should be emulating on the dance floor (though it's still a fun tune to dance to and gosh darn it, Robert Sean Leonard is hot); Fly Me to the Moon, especially as sung by Blossom Dearie because that's what I got engaged to, though just about anything by Blossom Dearie is dreamy - I Won't Dance, I'm Hip, Blossom's Blues, Rhode Island is Famous For You is the one my dance partner and I were going to choreograph a routine to, you get the idea; and of course It Ain't What You Do for the shim sham and all of the amazing times and locations wherein I did the sham sham - the benefit for a dancer with cancer (which then led to a pie in the face), Frankie's memorial, various exchanges, etc. (and I know that clip is not of It Ain't What You Do, but I though the Frankie memorial was more important to link to, for everything that man brought to the world of dance); and Get Your Girl #1 by Vargas Swing because I had such a crush on Dawn Webber and they gave me free socks at one of their shows. I think it's safe to say that swing/lindy/jazz type music has played a big part in my life and will always hold good memories for me, but perhaps it's time to move on to the next genre? Otherwise, we'll be here all day.

There have been some random, scattered tunes that were playing at just the right moment in my life to leave such an impression that I sometimes I can't listen to them anymore. I remember sobbing in my car on my way from my dad's house to my mom's house in high school listening to the chorus of Regret by New Order because life was just too much and I can barely listen to the song now. Stay, Insanity, Mary, and Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo have all held special significance for me at one point or another - wanting the boy to stay, keeping me company on a lonely family vacation, the story of my life, and needing to dance so badly at my first rock and roll concert ever that I'm sure I injured my friend upon whose shoulders I was sitting. And by extension, Sally's Song from The Nightmare Before Christmas because I made that costume one year and rocked it, and asked my friend to teach me the song so I would be prepared just in case anyone asked me to sing it. Which no one did. Shit, let's throw in Useless, Water, and Change, too. I found Boingo (or Boingo found me) when I really needed them and I will always love Danny Elfman for that very reason.

Speaking of finding artists at exactly the right time, Bob Dylan. I have to put It Ain't Me Babe on this list because it's my theme song and I love to cover it. But yeah, found him exactly when I need him and I love the gravelly voice. It soothes my heart.

Crap, this is getting long and wordy. I'm going to be brief and random for a bit. Sorry about that.

I found Moby one summer and he kind of changed my life. I still fantasize about putting together a huge dance routine to Run On that combines lindy, charleston, hip hop and other crap. I've been to three or four Moby shows and they are incredible. I can't not dance to Go when it comes on and when he plays it at his shows, I have to jump. The entire time.

(I would like also like to do a similar dance style mash up performance thing to Come On Now by the John Butler Trio. One Way Road is also rather brilliant.)

And while we're on kind of techno type stuff, I have to mention Sander Kleinenberg, who played the best techno show I have ever seen at RedNo Five in Chicago. I have no idea what the records were he was spinning - some of them were white labels - but sweet jebus, that man can blow the roof off of a club. And he's really nice to look at, too. Really nice. Watching him spin that night was when I learned that if you bop your head backward on the downbeat instead of forward, it sits in the music better. Like starting a cha-cha on the two.

Right about now is when I feel like I should mention (for those of you who don't know) that I also write music. I usually attribute this to a couple of people - the guy who is the current face of the USPS "If it fits, it ships" campaign, another college friend, and Liz Phair. The first Liz Phair song I heard that I identified with her was Polyester Bride, and this was also the first song of hers I learned to cover. But then I went back and heard Flower and remembered hearing it at college parties, so I guess technically, that was my first exposure to Liz Phair. There was a time when I hung out on the Liz Phair message boards quite a bit, and I ended up writing a "clean" version of the song that included the phrase "You can be my personal Yoda." I was kind of proud of that. I think my favorite Liz song, though, is The Divorce Song. I was proud when I learned how to play that one, too, and practicing one of the little chord blips is what eventually led to my own song Astoria Park. That, and hanging out in Astoria Park one day. Which is a favorite of my friend in Texas who I met on the Liz Phair message boards.

But once I started writing my own music, it took a little while before I was comfortable playing it for other people. My song Allowed was sort of a gateway song for me in that respect - it gave me the confidence to play out in front of people because this fellow swing dancer guy friend of mine liked it. And it is actually about my infatuation with another swing dance instructor. I guess it all comes back to swing dancing, doesn't it?

But the fact that I was now playing my own music led me to an open mic in New York City one night where I met another bald musician I would become infatuated with. He played his song Gaslight (Oh Tomorrow) and the crush started, so of course I had to find the rest of his music. Shepherd makes me weep every time. And his song Indiana is what my song Nothing More is in response to, which is only really worth noting because Nothing More is the only love song I've ever written.

Love songs. I was in New York almost a year ago, feeling rather rotten about my station in life, and I had a bit of time to kill on my own before heading to the airport, so I took a vegan blueberry muffin into Central Park and sat on a bench to eat it while listening to my iPod. In These Arms came on and I had one of those moments wherein the world is so full of beauty that you are humbled and grateful for the brief time you have to participate in it and all you can really do is cry. I keep meaning to thank Glen Hansard/Marketa Irglova/The Frames for that, and for some of their other songs like People All Get Ready, Say it to Me Now, and When Your Mind's Made Up. Actually, I just keep meaning to thank Glen Hansard for his existence. (For her own part, Marketa Irglova is adorable, too. Met her after a show in Chicago and she was delightful and so normal but has this amazing energy I don't find in a lot of other women.)

I have had the opportunity to thank Mike Doughty for his music - he personally keeps his Facebook page and responds to fans. Your Misfortune soothes my soul when it's really hurting. It's kind of funny to me that I love Mike Doughty now because I went through this brief trip-hop period wherein I was introduced to Soul Coughing and then didn't really think about them again until Looking at the World From the Bottom of a Well came on the radio. I've now seen him play live two or three times and own five or six records? I also met a guy who said he was friends with the girl about whom Unsingable Name was written.

But I did come back around to Mike Doughty, in large part due to WXRT, the best radio station in Chicago. This station also introduced me to Mumford and Sons, by way of Little Lion Man. Their whole first album is amazing. The Cave and Awake My Soul are a couple more that are always in my playlists. Though I still think he looks wrong for that voice. I wanted him to be this sort of shriveled, withered man who tanned and smoked too much as a kid.

WXRT was also the first radio station to play one of my songs - Hamburg. I got my tattoo that day, too.

I feel like I should mention that growing up, I listened to a lot of Billy Joel and ABBA, for whatever that is worth. I should probably say that the first 45rpm record I bought for myself was I Think We're Alone Now by Tiffany, largely so I can show that my taste in music has improved significantly as I've gotten older. My brother wouldn't let me play that record when he was around, so I said he couldn't play Patience by Guns 'n Roses. My physical appearance has led me to a certain affinity for Baby Got Back, and my relationship status kind of makes me like Single Ladies, though I don't think it was the best video ever made. That title goes to Take On Me. The first songs my mom taught me to play on the guitar were Scarlet Ribbons and The Boxer, which led to a particularly funny moment during a show when someone dropped a tray of dishes in the kitchen at the exact right moment in the chorus. When I was in Spain, my favorite songs to hear at our favorite club were Sister Golden Hair and Mr. Jones by the Counting Crows.

And I have a sort of love-hate relationship with Beethoven's Ode to Joy because of A Clockwork Orange and Immortal Beloved. In one, it is so beautiful; in the other, it is horrifying. Such is the power of music.

Baba O'Riley has to be on there, although most stuff by The Who and Led Zepplin just remind me of the SNES game F-Zero, because I used to watch my brother play that game for hours while we listened to classic rock in his room. He had the warmest room in the house, and Christmas lights around his ceiling, so it was fun. Good times with classic rock and video games.

Sweet jebus, this is long. I think the most important thing one can take away from this is that if someone were to actually create a soundtrack of my life, there would most certainly be something on there that everyone likes, and it wouldn't leave you in one place for too long before taking you on some new emotional journey or back to some beloved memory of your own.

But I do want to throw up one more link here, to a song that I can only listen to sometimes, but in many ways, it best encapsulates where I feel I am in my life right now. Thanks, Colin.

Thank you, A.A. for your question! Keep 'em coming guys! askmisskittyanything@gmail.com

Starting in Music

J.J. asks, "Dear Miss Kitty,

For someone just starting out, what advice would you give to someone eager to play music? Just go solo, or try to put a band together?

J.J."

Hi, J.J. I think the answer to this question depends on quite a few variables. When you say, "just staring out," do you mean, "Never had one lesson," or "I've been playing for a while and am just getting up the confidence to play out?" Because if it is the former, I would recommend first taking some lessons. Really. Sure, you can go to open mics and try to sell your "music" to the public, but chances are, they will just kind of tolerate you until it is time for the next guy who is there pimping his CD release show to come up and play something good. Or, you could try to find bandmates, and you may find some, but they will find out very quickly that you add nothing to the group and may end up kicking you out of your own band.

If it is the latter, it all depends on what kind of music you are making. Some music doesn't require anything beyond a person and an instrument. Some does. If the kind of music you are making requires a band, I would recommend not only finding fellow band members, but also a good stylist, make-up artist, agent, manager, and personal trainer. You'll also want to find a good studio that has the most updated AutoTune software because my guess is that in between workouts, shopping trips, meetings, events, charity functions, awards galas, and other various public appearances, you won't really have much time left to rehearse. Which is fine. Nobody is going to be coming to your shows to see you "sing." They'll be there for the spectacle of it. Which reminds me - make sure your pyrotechnician is union. You'd hate for something bad to happen.

And good luck with your musical career!

Thank you, J.J. for your question. Keep 'em coming, guys! askmisskittyanything@gmail.com

Songwriting

M.C. asks, "Dear Miss Kitty
Have you written any new song lately and if so are any of them about me?"

I have not written any new songs in a while. I'm almost ashamed to admit that, but I haven't. I've been doing other things. Which isn't really an excuse - lots of artists are able to do more than one thing at a time - it's just how things have worked out recently.

I have also found myself surrounded by a lot of really amazing music at the moment that is sort of filling up and soothing my soul in such a way that I feel musically satisfied without writing anything. Like this. And these guys are also pretty great. And I know a lot of people really didn't like it, but I have to admit that this one has kind of grown on me, as have some of the other tunes from the same album.

So anyway. The short answer is no, no new songs lately. I was thinking of your Christmas tune the other day, though and it made me miss you. Hope you are well.

Thank you, M.C. for your question! Keep 'em coming guys! askmisskittyanything@gmail.com

Dancing Fool

M.O'D. asks, " When dancing I can usually do ok counting in my head as long as I'm focusing on my partner. However, the moment I try (or accidentally) look anywhere else (like at other dancers) my counting goes out the window and I end up trampling toes. Is this just a novice dancing dilema? Are there any quick fixes? Please help me MissKitty!

Hi, M. I hope you know that I say this next bit with all of the love in my heart because I really can empathize with you, but you're a white guy, aren't you? (I know you are 'cuz we've known each other for years, but I just needed to make that point for the sake of my readers. Excuse me, "reader.")

Dancing can be a tricky thing, especially for Caucasian men who, typically, have no rhythm. I presume this is why you are counting in your head, so you can keep the beat, yes? You are fortunate because rhythm is something that a person can learn, and once the rhythm is part of you, it won't matter where you look (though I will say, on behalf of dance partners everywhere, if you're so bored with the dance you're in that you can't stay focused on your partner, it's probably not a dance you should be involved in and chances are she's just as bored as you so it would probably be okay to just call it quits right there in the middle of the dance floor. Make a big show of it, though, so people know why you're leaving the floor and they will know to get out of your way. Shouting, "I just can't work with this!" usually helps).

Rhythm consists of two parts - the math-type part and the feeling-type part.

The math-type part is easy. Perhaps your counting is getting thrown off because you haven't really counted anything in a long time and you've forgotten how it goes. I would recommend dropping by any of the fine elementary education facilities in your city and joining a class. A lot of counting usually happens in first grade classrooms. If you wear a trench coat, dark glasses, and a hat, and sneak in to sit in the back, they won't even know you're there. You can join in the counting until you feel comfortable doing it on your own. If you find that you need some extra assistance, you might want to take one of the children aside during recess and ask for some one-on-one lessons.

The feeling-type part can be a little trickier. This is when you take all of the counting you've been practicing and try to incorporate it into your body so that the things you do on a daily basis have fluidity and consistency. Rhythm, if you will. And the unfortunate part is that this is just one of those things that you have to do as much as you can until the muscle memory kicks in. I would recommend purchasing a few songs that have a heavy, steady bass line, so it is hard to miss the rhythm, and just play them wherever you go. If you need to carry a boombox on your shoulder, by all means, carry a boombox on your shoulder. If you'd rather go with a personal mp3 player of your choice, that's okay, too, but I've found some people can get self-conscious practicing their rhythm techniques if they think other people can't hear the music. But in any case, as you are listening to the music, walk in time with it. One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four. Brush your teeth to it. Breathe to it. Everything you do, do it in time with the music. Don't worry if you mess up every now and again - these things happen. Just jump back in on the downbeat and you're good to go. After a while, these behaviors will become automatic and any time you hear music, you'll be able to find the rhythm and keep it without having to count it out in your head. Then you can be as disinterested in your dance partner as you like and she'll never know the difference.

Keep on dancing!

Thank you, M.O'D. for your question. Keep 'em coming, guys! askmisskittyanything@gmail.com