Gay Scientologists

S.B. asks, "Dear Miss Kitty,

I am torn. Part of me wants to lend actor John Travolta my heartfelt support in coming out of the closet. This part is, of course, at war with the part of me that wants to mock him out for belonging to the Church of Scientology. Which part should win?

S.B.

Mockery. Mockery always wins.

See, the thing is, I'm not terribly versed in the tenants of Scientology, but from what I can tell, homosexuality is not really, um, celebrated within the Church. So if a gay man chooses to believe in Xenu over allowing himself to be who he is...well, I'm not really in a position to judge anyone, but that sounds kind of unhealthy to me. And/or, if a person feels the need to repress such an integral part of his own personality so that he will be accepted by a bunch of people who are happy to take his money as long as he insists that he likes banging women...again, I'm not one to judge. And/or if a person subscribes to a belief system that does not allow him to be who he is...I think you get my point.

Now, there are, apparently, some gay Scientologists who say L. Ron didn't really mean it when he called homosexuals "sexual perverts," "skulking coward[s]," "far from normal and extremely dangerous to society," and "quite physically ill," or that those terms were taken out of context, or that the Church has eased up on the whole homosexuality debate since L. Ron wrote "Dianetics" in 1950. But really, you have to wonder about homosexuals who find themselves drawn to a way of life that so obviously hates them. Do they hate themselves that much? That makes me sad.

I do understand the desire to support someone's decision to come out, though. I think everyone should be able to come out in the manner of his or her own choosing when the time is right. But you and I are not therapists, counselors, or psychoanalysts. And near as I can tell, neither of us is personally involved with John Travolta, so as much as we might like to say, "Hey, John, we'll still love you if you come out (as long as you never make another movie like Battleship Earth)," I don't know that it is really our place to do that. Perhaps we are best served by mocking him for denying who he is so he can get regular thetan level readings because when one is so far removed from the subject, sometimes the only way one's voice can be heard is through mockery. And through mockery, perhaps we can help him see the contradictions in his life that need straightening out. And then, once he has come out, we can applaud him for his brave choice.

And then continue to mock him for keeping 700 copies of "Dianetics" lying around his house...

Thank you, S.B. for your question. Keep 'em coming, guys! askmisskittyanything@gmail.com

Netflix and the Wii

Happy New Year!

J.E. asks, "Dear Miss Kitty,

I recently got Netflix for the Wii. I've since lost the desire to leave the house. My husband tells me this is a problem. I disagree since I can stop anytime I want to, I just don't want to right now. How do I get him off of my back?

J. E."

Sorry I was absent for a little while there - I was watching a bunch of stuff from my Netflix queue. Damn, that's a good show.

And really quickly, before I get too in to this answer, I want to say that I hope everyone had a safe and happy new year, and I hope that now, five days into the new year, it hasn't been all blown to hell yet. Like, I dunno, you find out that your celebrity crush is getting married. Not to you. Even though you're sure you'd get along swimmingly, and you don't want to come off as a stalker, but really, couldn't he have at least waited until he'd met you before running off and swearing to love his girlfriend of two and a half years for the rest of his life? People fall in love with total strangers all of the time, right? At least that's what the movies in my Netflix queue tell me.

So anyway. I hope nothing like that has happened to you this year and you are still warm from the New Year Buzz. It's a thing. I swear.

Netflix! We're onto Netflix and the Wii. Such a lethal combination. I came to the discovery over the holiday break that my Wii is being used primarily as a device for watching things through Netflix, and that I really have no idea what is going on in the world because watching things through Netflix, I don't see commercials much anymore (except those irritating Menards ones with the theme song that won't ever leave your brain). So I did what any responsible adult would do - I went out and bought some video games.

But as with any addiction, the easiest way to get someone off of your back about the addiction is to turn said person into an addict as well. Does your husband know that you can watch "Battlestar Galactica" streaming on Netflix? Or all of "Lost?" I think they even have some pro-wrestling tapes on there ("tapes" because the last time anyone recorded professional wrestling for distribution was in the Hulk Hogan era). Is he aware how many bonus points he will get for snuggling up and watching some stupid romantic comedy with you, streaming on Netflix, and he won't even have to pay for movie tickets or snacks? It's the ultimate cheap date night. He doesn't even have to spring for cab fare to get you home and into bed - just get you upstairs, or (if you don't have kids or roommates) out of your pants. Couches can be very romantic places, after all.

So my recommendation to you is that you try to bring him into your world. Start by watching something you know he would like (even if it's not your favorite) streaming on Netflix so as he is walking past the room, he is enticed to stop and have a taste. When that movie or episode ends, you can introduce him to the wonders of online video watching using Netflix and the Wii.

Your marriage will never be the same.

Thank you, J.E. for your question! Keep 'em coming, guys! askmisskittyanything@gmail.com