Whippet

A.A. asks, "Dear Miss Kitty,

I hope the year has treated you well so far.

Why are whippets good? I can understand people liking doggies. I'm partial to pit bulls myself (they're so cuuuuute!) but what makes whippets specifically gooder than the others?

Thank you very much. I look forward to your insight.

A.A.

Sent from my iBorgPhone. Resistance is futile."

Hey, A.A. I hope the new year is treating you and your iBorgPhone well, as well. For me, if I may borrow from Norm Peterson, this year has shown me that it really is a dog eat dog world and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear. Anyway, moving on.

When I first read your question, I thought you were talking about whipples, the pancreas/bile duct/gallbladder/duodenum/sometimes-portions-of-the-stomach-removing surgery that Christina Yang gets all excited about in an episode of the first season of "Grey's Anatomy." Remember when that show was good? Go back and watch it again now. Not quite as good, but kind of a dirty pleasure thing. The episodes with the bomb in the dude's chest and Christina Ricci are still pretty awesome. Anyway.

You were not talking about whipples, but instead about whippets and why they are "gooder" than other dogs. When I stop cringing at the word "gooder," I will simply show you a picture and challenge you to look that sweet little puppy in the eye and tell him he's not the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in your life. Go on. Take a look. Try to tell him that. Scared, huh? I would be, too. That thing looks like it could eat my car. Or at the very least, play fetch with it.

But regarding why people like them, it's probably because they're usually pretty chill dogs. They like to lounge around and are good with strangers and they have short hair which doesn't shed as much as some. They like to be inside, so it's like having a dog who thinks he's a cat but he's super crazy fast and agile so you can show off for the cute dog owner ladies when you take him to the dog park. And when specifically put against a pit bull, those of a nefarious sort are more likely to train their whippets to race than to maul the hell out of anyone and anything they see. Dog racing is still mostly legal. Dog fighting is not. So you can still make money off of your dog with a lower risk of prison sentence.

And let's not forget whippets have a fun song. Pit bulls do not.

So basically, you have a cat-like dog who can do tricks, who is mostly healthy, who gets along with other people and other dogs, runs super fast, inspires silly hats, and could earn you a small fortune at the dog track. What's not to love?

Thank you, A.A. for your question! Keep 'em coming guys! askmisskittyanything@gmail.com

Looks vs. Health

T.E. asked, "Which is more necessary for happiness, good looks or good health?"

Looks. Totally looks. And I'll tell you why.

Everything we know as a culture, we have learned from television and as we all see on a nightly basis, everyone in television land is beautiful. Well, except that one really creepy ugly guy who you know from the outset must be the bad guy because he obviously hasn't bathed in a year. You know who I'm talking about. And obviously, that guy has neither good looks, nor good health and he is so miserable that he feels it necessary to take out the entire town with the miniature black hole he developed in his basement and has been carrying around in his pocket in a black-hole-proof container. Because we all know these things could happen.

But even beyond that, if you look at a medical show on television, say "Grey's Anatomy," you'll see that all of the patients are good looking. Why? What about the ugly patients? The ugly patients aren't even deemed worthy of care in such institutions. It's not survival of the fittest; it's survival of the prettiest. They did have that one totally mutilated woman once to whom they had to give a new face and once she got her new face she was (drum roll please) gorgeous and landed the hot doctor. Even though she turned out to be crazy. But it's a perfect metaphor for this question - she was hideous and her fiance left her. When she became pretty again, she got the hot guy. Poof! Being pretty gets you what you want. Getting what you want usually leads to happiness (unless you're masochistic, but that's another post).

And yes, the argument could be made that she was sick and became healthy and therefore got the man. But let's take a look at another show, shall we? A little blip on the cultural radar called "ER." You have George Clooney and you have Anthony Edwards. Both skilled doctors, both healthy guys, both lead characters with interesting plot lines. George Clooney has now won eleventy-three Oscars and Anthony Edwards is doing what? A couple of indie films. He has virtually dropped off the radar and why, you may ask? He's a talented guy. Not horrible to look at. But George Clooney is prettier. Two healthy guys and who gets what he wants? The prettier one.

So I guess what I'm saying is that the key to getting what one wants in life would seem to be being pretty. And if getting what you want in life leads to happiness (which I don't think is too much of a stretch), then you need to be pretty in order to be happy. And if you happen to be pretty and you become sick, you will be treated by all of the hot doctors in Hollywood and will be therefore able to regain your health, whereas if you are not pretty, they will leave you to rot by the side of the road until you become some poor, misunderstood super villain or you die. So do what you can to be pretty!

Thank you to T.E. for your question, and keep them coming, guys! askmisskittyanything@gmail.com