Adult Education

J.R. asks, "Dear Miss Kitty,

Why is it so difficult to apply to graduate school at UCLA? I spent 12 hours at my computer and $120 dollars today!

Bonus question: Do you like the Hall & Oates song referenced in the subject line?

Cheers,

JR"

Hi, J.R.

I think your problem is that you are applying to the school that everyone in the known universe wants to attend. I mean, really, think about it. What city is more glamorous than Los Angeles? From the outsider perspective, anyway. If you've never been, you think it's all glitz and fancy cars and famous people and it's always sunny and warm and nothing bad ever happens in LA that can't be solved in 30-55 minutes. Sure there is traffic and smog, but those things seem so minor compared to the chance that you might meet your hero while walking down the street.

True, those of us who have been there a while know it is expensive and overdone and very cliquish (and I was only there for three months) and it can feel heartless and sterile if you don't have millions of dollars to spend, but they don't show you that in the movies. They show you the hooker who meets the filthy rich guy who saves her in a limo.

So you've just graduated high school, or you've just graduated college, or you've been out of college for a while and are frustrated with your life so you think the best course of action is to go back to school and learn more so you can get a better job and make more money and hopefully be happy someday. And while you're building up this super happy future, you try to picture yourself in some super happy place that is always warm and sunny and it's clean and glamorous and there are exciting people all around you and...UCLA! You're going to apply to UCLA! They have a fun campus and great sports teams and it's a beautiful location and hey, people actually learn things there, too! What more could you want in a school?

The sad thing is, everyone else thinks that way, too, so poor UCLA gets approximately 8,750,342,976 applications per year for 39 spaces (actually, it's closer to 58,000 applications for 4,000 spaces, but you get my point). That is a lot of application materials to wade through, my friend. So they have to make the process difficult. That is the first test you have to pass - can you complete the application? I'm sure more than 58,000 people start the application process, but only 58,000 finish it. That's the first cut. So if it took you 12 hours and $120, you're 12 hours and $120 closer to the second cut. You've already beaten out those lazy bastards who couldn't think of a good reason why they wanted to apply there in the first place and gave up writing their essays after, "Since I was seven years old, my dream has been to live in California..."

So hang in there. It's tough. I know. And now you get to play the waiting game, which sucks even more. But I have my fingers crossed for you. If for no reason because I'm still hoping you write that sequel someday (but starring Zoe and Dean this time).

Bonus answer: I honestly didn't know there was a Hall & Oates song called "Adult Education," so I had to go look it up on YouTube. I'm guessing that if it had been on the radio in about 1986, I might have listened. I am a little bit confused by the half-naked Egyptian style wedding/sacrifice ceremony with a mentally challenged janitor and dudes in masks in the video. And I'm kind of scared by Oates' high-waisted pants. It's not a bad song. Probably not one I'm going to rush out to buy, though. But I do have to give you credit for random pop-culture references in your question. Kudos for that.

Thank you, J.R. for your question! Keep 'em coming, guys! askmisskittyanything@gmail.com